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5 Things To Do When Looking For a New Stylist

  • By Kate G
  • 05 Apr, 2017

Here’s the thing. I can’t tell you I don’t do exactly what I’m telling you not to do. Especially as I’ve had my own hair drama in New York City recently…

I’ve been going to the same guy to get my hair cut for a long time. I went from wearing bobbed hair to super, edgy short to long rock and roll. And you know you have a cool cut when girls working in Soho comment. So it totally sucks when out of the blue you leave your salon upset.

For me it’s a big haul down to the city from NH, not to mention expensive to get a haircut. So when I was suddenly unhappy after a few years of it being an, oh-so-worth-it splurge, I hoped it was an isolated incident.

There was the time I was playing Aunt Eller in Oklahoma and had a bun that clipped to the back of my head. At one point during the run, I had to hit the trade show in NY.  I thought if I also got a little trim nobody would notice. I made it clear I only wanted a little shaping to tide me over. Suddenly, there were loud snip, snip, snips at the nape of my neck, and he’d cut off the back of my hair! There was a pretty big to-do at the theater, and for the rest of the summer I was the only actor onstage in a wig.

Recently I noticed my stylist showing off to the young female apprentices, and I felt as though I was just a head on a stick.


Pay attention when your peeps remind you how you felt after your last salon visit.

Whenever I show up in the city I always try to get together with my friend, Ayodele. When she says, “are you going to get a cut with your guy when you’re here? I know she means I shouldn’t. Because of the last time. And maybe the time before that… So when my long hair ended up with super thin ends, it was the last straw.

When we’re done, we women will dutifully give a tip, and like a date you can’t get shake off fast enough, ghost the offending party. I’m sure he never saw it coming.

 

Get recommendations by someone whose style you admire .

I’m not a Trip Advisor and Yelp kind of researcher, though I’m happy when people leave me reviews for the people who are. But I’ll ask strangers on the street where they got their great cut.

A lot of people sit themselves down in the chair and hope for the best. I mean would you let just any old surgeon operate on you without getting a clear idea of her reputation? And I don’t know about you, but I always find out whether a hotel has a history of bed bugs before I check in.


If products matter to you, find out what s/he uses.

If you care about socially responsible and healthy, find out about them up front. Like STDs, toxic products aren’t something you want to deal with after you’re invested.

 

Check out the vibe and be sure you feel “seen” by him/her during your consultation.

I remember my mother marching us all into an airplane while it was on the runway and interviewing the pilot before she flew with him. When she didn’t like what she got, she marched us right off again. Don’t you wish you were that gutsy? A new stylist expects you to vet them.

 

Do you sense s/he loves what s/he’s doing?

Check in with yourself here to see if you’re liking the experience. You deserve to. So don’t go unconscious as so many of us do when we’re already in the chair. 

 

Do you have a situation like I had and are far from us? Let us know, and we’ll support you long distanc e.   

Leave a comment below and tell us your experience. We'd love to hear from you and how you dealt with it. 

 

By Kate G 10 May, 2017

Of course we hate being heavy in the spring when it’s time to jump into cute clothes. And of course we feel like attacking the problem; the spring-cleaning drive can hit every physical thing in our sights. Plus we hate feeling fat.

The idea of detoxing is as compelling as the need to lance a boil .

Some of us work in chemicals, some of us feel yucky, some of us are just feeling the need to vacuum and wash everything in sight. You hear about all these cleanses people do like drinking bentonite clay that can lodge in your intestines and juice fasts making you woozy and out of it… And some of them are downright dangerous. Our value is so attached to how we look- and the idea of TOXINS!- we just want to make it go away! But we can take this natural winter pudge and turn judgment on ourselves. I can spot a hair shirt girl from one end of my boutique to the other.

If you’ve ever done a fast where you got majorly sick, you’d never do it again.

Our bodies don’t eliminate toxins because something isn’t processing well. Like the liver. So you don’t want to yank them out and have them float around and lodge somewhere else. Like your brain. The only reason I can think why we’d make that dangerous move is if we don't know the truth about how it works.

There’s nothing like having “problems” to teach you stuff.  

On my trip to the Bahamas a couple years  I attended a talk on the gut villi and cried. You know you have a weird truth on your hands when you ball at a biology lecture. John Douillard, Deepak Chopra’s former cancer center director is riveting when he speaks. The cleanse he developed over years is the one I prefer .  It's a comfort to have a tried and true method that works--and is food based. 

Nature doesn’t grow dandelions for us to drink in our tea for nothing.

In the spring we want to clean out the pipes and detoxify, switching our food to things that are growing now. The object is to get the body to burn it's own fat. Eat spring veggies, low fat and light, dry grains such as rice, millet and corn. Lean meat and salmon are fine. And exercise!  

It's easier to just keep moving around the familiar track in the grocery store or   stick to a diet plan you have in your head .   But if you’ve done what the winter dictates, you ate plenty of grains, fats, meats and dairy. They are right for that season.  The gut responds to the same foods differently in different seasons. How much more proof do you need than that?

 

By Kate G 19 Apr, 2017


 

Do you get up super early for work?

Having to subway it to Brooklyn to teach high school at some outrageous hour of the morning ought to be outlawed. Mucking horse stalls in the pre-dawn for a living when rats play chicken with thoroughbreds? Been there, done it, and it can suck.  

 

Smart people recommend getting up early if you want to get a lot done. Really smart people say to have a morning routine. 

Anything like working and being back in school can play havoc with your stress levels. But as a habit, tearing out of the house with wet hair and a mug of Joe can have you behind the eight ball all day.

 

Surviving big stress times takes having a non-negotiable morning routine.

Hearing the words, non-negotiable means there’s probably some more pleasurable choice. Like having another cup of coffee, or sleeping more. Take deciding how you feel off the table. No time means not making time.

 

Feel like your life is running away without you?

Being in your beauty doesn’t necessarily mean prancing in an Irish Spring commercial. It can be feeling calm and energized for the day or just not plagued by stuck, hurt joints when jauntily loading up big-assed tires for your auto appointment.

 

People instinctively think don’t move it when something hurts .

Lifting out of your joints and lengthening takes pain away, and using your body weight like a dancer strengthens weak muscles. No more shuffling downstairs in the morning cause you can’t move anything from the hips down.

 

Do you have tools to focus you for your day?

Beauty is in your feelings of joy. Try Miranda Esmonde-White’s Classical Stretch. Her 22 minute, full body routines engage all 260 muscles of your body. Check it out on PBS.

 

Have to concentrate long hours?

A friend recently told the local bike store to sell him a cheap spin bike cause he was only going to use it once! 30-45 minutes of cardio daily will get your head in the game. Try listening to audio books from the library on the “Overdrive” mobile app to keep from suffering over it.

 

What do you want to make non-negotiable?

People find all kinds of different routines to ground the day.  Our own “Beauty Is A Decision” alum, Tatiana discovered the 15-minute “Everyday Yoga” in the Natural Detox DVD to be hers. Check it out here .  And you can read her testimonial about it here  (scroll down to testimonials from where you land).

  

Like this blog? Share it with a friend, and tell us about your routine in the comments below.


By Kate G 05 Apr, 2017

Here’s the thing. I can’t tell you I don’t do exactly what I’m telling you not to do. Especially as I’ve had my own hair drama in New York City recently…

I’ve been going to the same guy to get my hair cut for a long time. I went from wearing bobbed hair to super, edgy short to long rock and roll. And you know you have a cool cut when girls working in Soho comment. So it totally sucks when out of the blue you leave your salon upset.

For me it’s a big haul down to the city from NH, not to mention expensive to get a haircut. So when I was suddenly unhappy after a few years of it being an, oh-so-worth-it splurge, I hoped it was an isolated incident.

There was the time I was playing Aunt Eller in Oklahoma and had a bun that clipped to the back of my head. At one point during the run, I had to hit the trade show in NY.  I thought if I also got a little trim nobody would notice. I made it clear I only wanted a little shaping to tide me over. Suddenly, there were loud snip, snip, snips at the nape of my neck, and he’d cut off the back of my hair! There was a pretty big to-do at the theater, and for the rest of the summer I was the only actor onstage in a wig.

Recently I noticed my stylist showing off to the young female apprentices, and I felt as though I was just a head on a stick.


Pay attention when your peeps remind you how you felt after your last salon visit.

Whenever I show up in the city I always try to get together with my friend, Ayodele. When she says, “are you going to get a cut with your guy when you’re here? I know she means I shouldn’t. Because of the last time. And maybe the time before that… So when my long hair ended up with super thin ends, it was the last straw.

When we’re done, we women will dutifully give a tip, and like a date you can’t get shake off fast enough, ghost the offending party. I’m sure he never saw it coming.

 

Get recommendations by someone whose style you admire .

I’m not a Trip Advisor and Yelp kind of researcher, though I’m happy when people leave me reviews for the people who are. But I’ll ask strangers on the street where they got their great cut.

A lot of people sit themselves down in the chair and hope for the best. I mean would you let just any old surgeon operate on you without getting a clear idea of her reputation? And I don’t know about you, but I always find out whether a hotel has a history of bed bugs before I check in.


If products matter to you, find out what s/he uses.

If you care about socially responsible and healthy, find out about them up front. Like STDs, toxic products aren’t something you want to deal with after you’re invested.

 

Check out the vibe and be sure you feel “seen” by him/her during your consultation.

I remember my mother marching us all into an airplane while it was on the runway and interviewing the pilot before she flew with him. When she didn’t like what she got, she marched us right off again. Don’t you wish you were that gutsy? A new stylist expects you to vet them.

 

Do you sense s/he loves what s/he’s doing?

Check in with yourself here to see if you’re liking the experience. You deserve to. So don’t go unconscious as so many of us do when we’re already in the chair. 

 

Do you have a situation like I had and are far from us? Let us know, and we’ll support you long distanc e.   

Leave a comment below and tell us your experience. We'd love to hear from you and how you dealt with it. 

 

By Kate G 27 Mar, 2017

As a stylist, it’s hard to also be taken seriously as a writer, or health consultant or anything else. It doesn’t matter what you did before, how many credits you have in the bank of brainy endeavors, people will still label you as a merchant and a hairdresser. So the other morning as I listened to Charlie Rose interview the screen writer, Daniele Thompson, I’m noting how she carried the idea for her latest film in her imagination a long time after she’d come across the story about Cezanne and Zola being childhood friends, I’m taken in by the story of the two characters, I’m fascinated by her history as a successful writer of comedy not biography, and I’m noting how badly she’s styled for the show. Attractive woman, late sixties, classic French red nail polish, beautiful rings, cute haircut-- badly curled, resulting in hornlike curls on the top of her head, makeup too opaque in wrong color with too much blush in rust going too far down her cheeks, clashing with the sparkly lavender eye shadow and pink lipstick. Then not tying it altogether, there’s a rust colored top showing at her collar line. Still taking in all the details of the interview, I repair the situation. Shake out the curls, keep the nail color, lose the rust colored top, bring in a stronger red lip, and definitely wipe the blush and mismatching eye shadow. I wonder if I should contact her to help her out. Hmmm.

 

I’d love to talk with her about the casting as it was first in her mind that got turned on it’s head and many more questions that came up. But I know I’d be written off as a stylist only and not taken seriously. Maybe she’d be momentarily interested in my knowledge of her topic. Been there, done that through many photo styling and makeover sessions.

 

Despite what my friends think, as I process films, interviews, people, I’m not distracted. Every aspect of me is engaged. In this case, writer, researcher, film enthusiast, student of French culture, and stylist. But I’m pegged, as the latter like the backup singers in Twenty Feet from Stardom . I can’t turn off this visual brain of mine, nor can I quiet the writer in me.

 

So what to do if the world can’t fathom an intellectual stylist or a health coach that can do your hair, makeup clothes and turn you into a more authentic version of yourself? Do you have this dilemma? Are you what Marie Forleo calls a multi passionate entrepreneur? Yet you still believe the old rules of “find a professional direction and stick to it”?  Have courage. Notice your talents, accept them, and follow them. And it doesn’t have to be done perfectly. My path has hardly been smooth, but I've found my sweet spot. And if ever there were a time to break the rules, it’s now. And there is no age limit for it.  


Have you been pigeonholed?  Tell us your experience and what you did about it in the comments section below  .

By Kate G 09 Mar, 2017

I use NY as a practicing ground. Yes, I’m there for business and move purposely like most everyone else in the city. But this trip I set myself an unusual goal.

For each day in the city I kept a count of how many people I could hold eye contact longer than the norm, longer than is comfortable. You want to yank your gaze away like everyone else, and it took discipline. But soon it got to be kind of fun. I realized men who said hello in passing after extended eye contact usually had an accent and appeared more open to it than born and bred Americans. Women and men both were generous when I asked directions or engaged them for help of some sort. Millenials still say, “no problem” when thanked, and everyone seemed comfortable all mixed up in a big diverse group.

I practiced when I didn’t want to. Monday night, tired after a the trade show at the Javits Center, I would have been happy to huddle in a corner of Le Pain Quotidian with both hands wrapped around a cappuccino staring into space. But returning from a mini portrait shoot of an excellent hairdo across the room, an elderly man had seated himself in the chair next to mine uncomfortably close to my table. His hands shook. We didn’t speak. I studied him and after a while realized he probably didn’t have cerebral palsy. He seemed like a possible regular and maybe just quite elderly. I broke the ice.

As it turns out, we harbor the same desire-- to live in London. “Don’t make the same mistake I did,” he said. “I waited for things to fall into place, and now I’m 92 and it’s too late for me.” Talk about shaking you up. Ugh. I left both happy and unhappy with the extended results of my little experiment.

So, keeping my unexpected dinner partner’s admonition in mind, I did two things that scared the bejesus out of me. (I have some kind of decision-making PTSD and thought some practice was in order) Firstly, I decided with a new stylist to cut off my long hair or not , and secondly, to turn down a profound offer that had come my way, or not. Of course I took it to the 11th hour and had to decide both things at once. I was seated in the salon chair at my 4 pm hair appointment making that decision, and I had an end-of-day deadline for the other decision. I found myself shaking, both extremely turned on and about to cry.

The next day, as I headed for a table at a Grand Central café to enjoy my coffee sporting my new, sassy bob, another woman simultaneously headed for the same table. She indicated I should sit at a different table nearby. As I turned to the remote table indicated, she seemed to change her mind and said, “or you could sit here with me.” All practiced up now, I reversed direction and said, “don’t mind if I do.”

From our seating dance I knew this woman was comfortable taking charge, and by her hair, makeup, and dress, it was obvious she had her act together. When I shared the results of my eye contact game, I saw a spark of interest flash in her. Most of us are not unaware we drop our eyes and stay inside our heads. And my little game, beyond the scary fun of breaking social mores, produced a kind of two-day, full on engagement with the world she found interesting. I had had a heightened sense of being alive, of the fun many of us feel we’re missing somehow.

Acknowledging another’s presence means that we, too are acknowledged and creates a feeling of connectedness in the world. This attractive doctor had been working harder than most I’m sure, but I’m also sure she was glad she called me back to our café table. What do you think it was about me that changed her mind?

Join my six-week women's workshop, Beauty is a Decision and find out for sure. Read testimonials for it here .

By Kate G 23 Feb, 2017

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.” Mark Twain.

What I hear all around me is people saying, “ I have to do such and such.” Now I know that thing is never going to happen the minute I hear have to  or should . They’re still hoping for the window fling. And a habit likes to stick like peanuts out of the packing crate.

Language is a powerful thing, so saying obligatory-type words to yourself is just another way to take a whip to your back—and the one thing no psyche needs is more of that. Keep it up and what you’ll get is rebellion.

When I want to make a habit change, I find a buddy and we do daily check-ins acknowledging all progress along the way. Remember it’s really hard to change in isolation. That’s why we exercise in a CLASS, and people get sober and lose weight in groups . We have the group to prop us up in our moments where we’d otherwise fall down on our plan.

We're pack animals. Find a mini pack and make a deal to be the leader and the follower. That is why they invented group text threads, isn’t it?

 Please leave a comment below. 

By Kate G 13 Feb, 2017

Communicating well is an art. And it’s fun. It’s like looking over on the dance floor at the person next to you and they’ve got the rhythm and can follow the steps you’re doing. When there’s flow, it brings up a kind of bubble in you. Feels almost like love. Why do you think the cliché on dating sites is beach walks and conversation? But communicating well takes discipline, paying attention, and knowing the rules. In the age we’re in, there are definite rules to the game, and when people know them, it’s fun to play. When they don’t…

 

In looking at the natural communication tendencies of the genders, all’s fair in business and love. In this fast paced time of texting, email and cell phone, it’s important to remember we’re all doing our best to stay on top of all that’s coming at us. But unskillful communications make busy people aggravated, the dance is lost, and the day gets bumpy.

 

Remember the old adage, don’t complain, don’t explain? Well, anyone in business might tell you-- really don’t explain. This is mostly a woman thing, and women can be conciliatory by habit. A busy person wants to know if you’re making your appointment or not. What’s your ETA? Resist the temptation to tell why you’re late. Being clear and concise is being nice. No” is a complete sentence .

 

When you want to tell someone something that went wrong, employ the s*t sandwich . Start by thanking the person for whatever they’re doing that’s right. Evenly state what’s not working, clearly say what you’d like done about it, and then thank them. Unless they’re a defensive type, they’ll get it, and life will go on. Guys, you can be blunt and forget the bunny bread on the outside of the sandwich. Don’t do it. You can turn a happy employee into a resentful one. And remember, the gratitude you give is good for you as well.

 

For relationships, we have a saying, “Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t say it meanly”--and do it in ten words or less. I learned from a wise woman, when communicating a heavy thought to a guy, say what you have to say and keep walking through the kitchen. Let your communication sink in without an on-the-spot confrontation. If you expect men to process things the way you do, you’ll get what you always got.

 

In shooting off a missive be clear. Check that you are not assuming that the other person gets what’s in your head by use of pronouns that could be confusing. Reuse the topic by name. Eliminate any superfluous detail. Try to make it so they don’t have to send any extra messages to clarify your meaning. Read carefully to see that you’re answering all the questions asked of you. People of either sex can be guilty of this one. Do you really want to be considered a pain in the ass?

 

Gather your thoughts before you dial the phone. And be loved by people for whom you’ve respected their time.


Have additional ideas? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment below. 

By Kate G 25 Jan, 2017

This last weekend I was in New York and a lot was going on. Mama Gena had expanded to the point of needing the Jacob Javits Center to house her free two-day event, and the NYC Women’s March was on.

 

The great thing I notice every time when first walking into “The Experience” is the sense of openness amongst the women. The smiles from woman to woman, stranger or no, is profoundly uplifting. Trimming the bangs of a woman I’d never met in the event bathroom with the teenie weenie scissors on her jack knife, I heard onlookers say, “Cause that’s what women do for women.”

 

I grew up in a family that made sport out of finding fault with things about people. Having two parents who were not only visual but working in the field may have trained my eye, and observing shape, style and color is how I keep my skills sharp, but even at a young age this kind of critiquing made me a smidge uncomfortable.

 

Whatever your political affiliation or identification, we all have our prejudices. What I notice in a more global environment like an international city is that judgment feels less prevalent than in the country, and acceptance of differences creates a kind of cool cohabitation. Where I live if you dance to a different drummer, the unsmiling look from a certain group of women screams, “who does she think she is??!! While another group clearly notes any lack of polish, identifying you again.

 

A couple years ago I did a business competition testing the waters of my online course, Beauty is a Decision. When one of the women judges proudly pronounced, I don’t even wear makeup, not only did I know this wasn’t going to go in my favor, in her prejudice she clearly missed I was attempting to address the important issue of the universal epidemic of women’s low self esteem. Happily, this kind of feminism of reverse snobbery is outmoded as a model. I proudly join the group that allows the fem in feminism and is ‘Body Positive’.

 

We have an internal voice that reflects the comments we hear or don’t hear about ourselves. I say, join the movement to uplift other women. Be inclusive. If you feel jealous or threatened, out yourself. That snake will slither away and your world will expand.

 

I saw the placard below leaning against a wall in NYC this weekend and it says it all.


By Kate G 11 Jan, 2017

Any good closet makeover begins with cleaning house and getting rid of anything that you know no longer suits you or makes you feel beautiful. By following the simple closet-clearing process outlined below, you will not only save money by making our sessions shorter, but you save money by making our session more efficient- and your makeover will begin immediately!


1.  Empty out your entire closet. I mean everything.  

2.  Wash down any shelves. Vacuum or wash the floor. Cleanse with sage stick.

3.  Go through every piece of clothing and immediately dump the D-list and place in bags for donation.

4.  If you don’t already own them, purchase hangers for your entire wardrobe. Do not use dry cleaning wire hangers – ever.

5.  One piece at a time, place the A-list items back in your closet organized by category on a matching hanger. For instance, hang gym clothes separate from work clothes and evening clothes.

6.  Organize clothes by color within each category.

7.  Be sure to hang all clothing facing the same direction.

8.  Place all B-list items aside to go through for our appointment. B-list items are things that you wear, might be the right color, or fit you but may be out of style.

9.  If you have dressers, follow the same process as above.

10.If you have any questions, call or email me.

 

For Appointment Day:

1.  Open all windows and get air circulating in the room.

2.  Please have hearty snacks and water available in our work area.

3.  Be emotionally prepared to let things go.

4.  Get plenty of rest the evening before. Clothes carry emotional weight and purging can take energy.

5.  We will need to take regular breaks.

 

 

By Kate G 04 Jan, 2017

Happy New Year!


Well- how often is it happy when we feel tired, tubby and blasted by recent holiday cheer? Some of us may have kept our resolve intact until exhaustion gets us and we begin defensive eating and drinking.

 

But reset is easy when you jump back on track immediately. Because I know the drill so well, I usually wait a day or two to get some naps and healthy groceries in and then get going.

 

The trick is to start by getting back to three meals a day with no snacking , as taught to me by John Douillard. But this has to be done with no struggle. Hunger, ok but cravings and exhaustion are no good . Therefore, I know my meals need to be BIG at first. Even then I see I drop water weight just by quitting the snacks. Experiencing this, it becomes apparent that calories in, calories out is a myth . The time between my meals is what burns fat, and I try to count four hours. Even though this is just a first step, the awareness of keeping within the three meals, immediately makes you feel more in control and hopeful.

 

Tip: Keep lunch big even when you are ready to begin reducing dinner , which is the next step. That way an afternoon trip to the grocery store won’t turn into one big slip. Another tip to dropping bloat is eliminating hard-to digest wheat and dairy .

 

When the wheels are really off the track, I take Sugar Destroyer , which you can find here . It allows the cravings for sugar and starch to go away. If you’ve been out of balance for some time, I suggest you get it before starting.


If you're interested in what Kate uses, visit her "What I Use" page by clicking here .

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